Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Home Remedies


I am a true fan of Snoopy - for all of my life, it seems. I miss new "Peanuts" comic strips in the Sunday paper each week but have been enjoying the "Classic Peanuts".
There are so many different home remedies; some of them really work well. I found a list of ones I had never heard of and am passing them along to you today (caveat emptor!).
Joke for the Day:
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. (This sounds familiar, doesn't it?)
7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
8. Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
10. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

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