Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Holy Wednesday


Doing tomorrow's blog this evening as I will be at Bible Study all morning tomorrow, God willing.
To understand what God did in order for us not to pay for our sins is virtually impossible. To give your only son as a sacrifice for all of us is.... well, something I find humbling, staggering, beautiful and extraordinary. When John and I accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior our whole lives changed - Praise His Holy Name! Thank you, Jesus!

Holy Tuesday


So, what does it mean that Jesus died for our sins that we should not have to pay the price? We have all sinned and because God hates sin we are separated from Him. Jesus came to Earth, as a man, and died on the cross to substitute for us. Because He paid the price we have been forgiven for our sins. All we have to do is accept this precious gift and that forgiveness is ours.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Holy Week


This is the time of year when I think about how blessed we are to have a God who loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for our sins and then rise again. All this so we would not have to pay for our own sins; he paid the price for us. Totally incomprehensible. All we have to do is to believe in Him and receive His gift. Praise His Holy Name!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Palm Sunday


Today is Palm Sunday. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, entered Jerusalem on a donkey with the crowds praising him with Hosannas. His time had come and by Friday everything would change; by Sunday we would have a "new life" because of Him.

Remember to attend Good Friday and Easter services this week. God loves you so much and you will hear just how much He loves you at these services.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Kids Are So Funny


Love kids. They are a hoot. My girls made me laugh a lot as they were growing up; they still do. Little kids have a funny view of the world and take things literally. You have to be very careful what you say and how you say it. All this as an introduction to today's joke. Very cute.
Joke of the Day: During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dinning room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Music in the Air

There is something about the beginning of Spring. The air is clean, the trees are moved by the breeze, birds sing to one another... I love the music of Spring.

Doing Friday's blog this evening as I will be in bed early in order to make a very early doctor's appointment tomorrow. Just follow-up to the neuro test I had last week.

Enjoy your Spring days!

Joke for the Day: A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

Is Spring Finally Here?

It will be almost 70 degrees today! Is Winter finally over? We thought it was about a week and a half ago and then we had two more snowstorms. Well, we'll see. In the meantime, it is going to be a gorgeous day - so, we will enjoy it for sure.

Today's joke proves that our TV ads need a little explaining. Found this to be very cute.

Joke for the Day: His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation. Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?”“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.“Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?”“Well,” said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but it’s sure worth two dollars.With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.”

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Kids Love Magnets


Doing tomorrow's blog today as I have to leave early tomorrow a.m. to go to the city for a bone density test - fun! Diagnosed in 2003 with osteopenia and now they want to check if it has advanced to osteoporosis. The meds they gave me 7 years ago I could not take for very long; bad side effect. So, now I just take a calcium supplement with vitamin D.

All kids love magnets. I do too. I used to have a bunch on my fridge, now I just have a few. When I was young I was fascinated by the fact that magnets attract and repel one another. The feeling of when the repel one another is really cool too.

Joke for the Day: "Doctor, my child has swallowed a magnet!" "Don't panic, the magnet should pass through his system soon." "How will I be sure?" she pressed. "Stick him on the refrigerator. When he falls off, you'll know."

Golf Season Soon


After an absolutely gorgeous day yesterday we now have another storm. The wind is howling outside, temperature has dropped, the sky is gray, and we are awaiting rain.
Nothing dramatic happening around here. Dizziness has been a little worse the last few days but that is not unexpected; it is definitely "up and down" - thank you, Lord, for the medications that keep me from falling off a chair!!
Again, today's joke is a little risque - sorry, as usual, if I have offended anyone.
Joke for the Day: One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the Irishman. With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Faith and begorah! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good Irish Whiskey?" she asks him. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too."

Monday, March 22, 2010

Tax Time!!!


Not to be a pain in the neck, but I do want to remind you that you have less than 4 weeks left to file your taxes. We hate waiting 'til the end, so ours are done. I do know that a lot of people wait until the very end, so this is just a little reminder. Hope you all get big refunds!
Today's joke is rude but on the nose. Sorry if I have offended anyone - I did not intend to.
Joke for the Day: In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the heck do you think you are doing?" "Well", said the guy, "you see, I am a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just cannot help practicing my art!" "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, the guy replied. I work for the IRS. Do you see me f***ing the guy in front of me?"

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Nerd Patrol


Our favorite television show is "Big Bang Theory" -- it is a truly funny show and has been renewed for three years; we are very happy. Take a look - it's on Monday evenings.
All the snow has melted but John got some beautiful shots. If he can send some to my computer I will post a few.
Joke for the Day: A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Global Warming?


We live in a snowglobe. It is absolutely amazing. In the three years we have live here we have never had this much now at one time. John is, of course, very excited and will be leaving shortly to take photos. Everyone here is stunned and happy about it - seems winter has never lasted this long before. Anyway, we are loving it!
Joke for the Day: One day after a heavy snowfall, this announcement appeared on the bulletin board in the nurses lounge of my local hospital: "Student nurses will please refrain from ever again using this institution's sterile bedpans for makeshift snow sleds."

Friday, March 19, 2010

Paperwork


Will be on phone today doing all the "paperwork" for Social Security Disability. Being that I am appealing the denial of Long Term Disability, this is very important. I am getting help with this and so the hour, or so, that I will spend on the phone will be with the people who are helping with the application.

Amazingly, we are supposed to get a snow flurry today - what a long winter. Everyone is amazed by it. Been nice though - and snow still on the mountains.

Joke for the Week: A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry,we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

What is Normal?


So, my Neurologist says that my brain is normal; I'm afraid this has come as quite a shock to my husband and daughters ---LOL. Seriously, I am most thankful that all is well in there. However, this means that my vertigo is pretty much going to remain this way and, hopefully, not get any worse.
Joke for the Day: By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished." So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kalhua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now. Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Neurological Test


Having a neuro test tomorrow so thought I would do my blog tonight before bed. Hopefully this will be the end of the tests. No one is anticipating any problem but they have to do it to make sure there are no lesions on my brain causing the vertigo. Not a painful test so no big deal.

Joke for the Day: A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

Haircut Anyone?


Haven't decided whether to get my hair cut, which is overdue, or grow it in. Such a serious decision (LOL).
Weather is beautiful - no more snow that we know about. Should be about 60 degrees today. Skies clear, air crisp. It's really gorgeous here at this time of year.
Today's joke is funny but may also be true - who knows!!!
Joke for the Day: A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door. Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community." The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer. Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators in front of the door.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Almost Spring?


Wow - we actually had a little snow yesterday afternoon -- most of the state got some snow. We are only a week away from Spring and we are still getting snow; more is expected later this week. Been a very long, cold winter - worst in seventeen years. It has been nice to see the snow on all the mountains throughout the winter; we have never seen this before as it usually melts between snowfalls.
Going to try and go for a walk today with John. Have not been for a walk in a long time due to vertigo. I am not permitted to walk alone at all. It will be nice - we have a nice little lake nearby so we will walk around it and the adjoining park
Today's joke is definitely an old one but I always laugh out loud when I hear it. Enjoy!
Joke for the Day: David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness." David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what did the chicken do?"

Sunday, March 14, 2010

My Two Homes


This being Sunday, I thought I should attempt something spiritual. We have been believers in our Lord Jesus Christ since the very early 80s. We are blessed each and every day because of Him. We love our families and friends and pray for them to know what God has done for them.
Being born and raised in French Canada and then moving to the USA in my mid-twenties, I feel that I have two homes. I defend each one. I am conflicted, sometimes, by what is happening in each one. I love each one.
I laughed out loud when I read today's joke, feeling very Canadian as I did. Please forgive me, all my American family and friends. Just too funny!
Joke for the Day: Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have You been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made!" Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over here is a continent of black people." God continued,pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!" God replied wisely, Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting below them!."

Friday, March 12, 2010

Media Is Everywhere


...Even in our family. News, Producing, Directing, Writing all runs in our family. Interesting business... only part of the business that we were discouraged from was acting; my father did not approve even though he worked with them everyday.
Today's joke is for our youngest daughter, Misha, the News Writer and Producer. Hope you like it. Love you, Misha.
Joke for the Day:

Biblical Headlines Written by Today's Media:
On Red Sea crossing:WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Pursuing Environmentalists Killed
On David vs. Goliath:HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock
On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY 400 Killed
On the birth of Christ:HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple
On feeding the 5,000:PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH Disciples Mystified Over Behavior On healing the 10 lepers:LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED "Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy
On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE Local Farmer's Investment Lost

Trojan Horse


I love getting gifts that are a surprise. It's so much fun opening the package and trying to guess what's inside. The best part is when you see what it is and you hadn't had any idea of what it was - truly a great surprise.
Today's joke is for my "teacher" daughter, Krista. Thought she would get a laugh out of it. Love you, Krista.
Joke for the Day: On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ? "No," said the little boy... "It's a puppy!"

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Are we having fun yet?


This is Thursday's post even though it says I did it Wednesday. Had the energy tonight and wasn't sure I would have it Thursday a.m.
"Blondes have more fun." Most of us are familiar with this statement. Question is, is it true? Having been a blonde most of my life, I would have to say, "Yes." Our two daughters are blonde as well and I think they are both "having fun." But then, there are others that say blondes are dumb. Is this true? Really have to disagree with this statement completely. I know for sure that our daughters are anything but "dumb" and I am almost certain I'm not either. So much for all these silly statements lumping people into little groups. However, I am a big fan of "blonde jokes" so here we go...
Joke for the Day: There was once a magic mirror in a ladies room in a bar. If one stood in front of this mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I think I'm the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." *POOF*

Home Remedies


I am a true fan of Snoopy - for all of my life, it seems. I miss new "Peanuts" comic strips in the Sunday paper each week but have been enjoying the "Classic Peanuts".
There are so many different home remedies; some of them really work well. I found a list of ones I had never heard of and am passing them along to you today (caveat emptor!).
Joke for the Day:
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. (This sounds familiar, doesn't it?)
7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
8. Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
10. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Shocking!


I'm sorry, but I laughed out loud when I read today's joke!
Off to work today to clear out my desk and lockers. I am on a one year Leave of Absence and so there is no point in leaving all my things there. I am hoping that they will find a way to accomodate my vertigo in another position. We will be working toward that goal. It will be strange to go in there today; haven't been there in 5 months.
We have been having beautiful Spring weather for the last week but now they are predicting colder weather and possibly snow. That's OK with me - I love it when our Christmas tree out front has snow on it - gorgeous.
Joke of the Day: The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Monday, March 8, 2010

Old Men


I love old men jokes so please excuse today's joke; just couldn't resist.
Back is still out of whack but definitely getting better - thank you, Lord! Vertigo is fairly well under control with 3 medications; of course, reading for more than a couple of pages or scanning/scrolling on the computer, certain scenes on television, moving/turning too quickly bring on an abrupt dizziness and balance issue. I am getting used to the way it is for me now. Not happy but adapted.
Joke for the Day: 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" George replied, "God and me are very close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I'm done." "Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great, but I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?" Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

Sunday, March 7, 2010


A "Heavenly" day here today. Early morning, sun just rising, beautiful clouds, readying ourselves to go to church. Makes me think of Heaven when I look at the sky - the blue is so blue and the white of the clouds so white. Wonder what it will really be like. All I know is that's where I want to go and where our Lord promised we would go if we would just give our lives to Him.
Joke of the Day: Pastor Walsh walked into a bar and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Pastor." The minister said, "Leave this bar right now!" He then approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Pastor," was the man's reply."Then leave this den of Satan!" said the minister. Pastor Walsh then walked up to Frank and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven. Frank?" Frank replied: "No, I don't, Pastor Walsh." The minister looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" Frank smiled, "Oh, when I die. Yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Dogs

We have a sweet dog named Tiggy (our granddaughter, Rebekah, named him after Mrs. TiggyWinkle of the Beatrix Potter books) - the men in the family call him Mr. Tiggs. He is now 11 1/2 years old, we have had him for 10 1/2 of those years. He is smiles all the time and is so happy to great everyone at the door. Always makes you feel loved. So many people feel that their dog is the brightest or is a true "human" member of the family. Tiggy is our buddy and we love him.

My back is slowly improving so I am hoping to blog at least every other day - still a bit of a challenge to sit here and type.

Joke of the Day: Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."



Friday, March 5, 2010

Stuck



Back is a little better today. Don't know why but I was attracted to today's joke; hope you enjoy it too. Went out and got some air yesterday - was great to get out of the house. Just did a few messages - groceries today. Have been put on a long term Leave of Absence at work. I have until February 19, 2011 to find a position at my employer that I can do that will not make my vertigo worse. Certainly are giving me a lot of time to do that, for which I am very grateful. Should hear in next few weeks if I am eligible for Long Term Disability; my Short Term ends April 13. Anyway, a lot of paperwork being done around here which is finally finished.
Have a super weekend. Enjoy your love ones; tell them that you love them and, if the weather permits, get out and get some fresh air.
Joke for the Day: "Doctor, my child has swallowed a magnet!" "Don't panic, the magnet should pass through his system soon." "How will I be sure?" she pressed. "Stick him on the refrigerator. When he falls off, you'll know."

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Sorry no blogging - back still out. Will blog as I can.

Have a great week.