Bad Back

Sorry about not blogging yesterday but my back is "out" and sitting at the computer is very painful. Keeping this short - just want to say I hope you all have a great weekend and I'll "see" you on Monday.

Getting Older

Not that John and I are so old but I do appreciate a joke about getting older. So, I hope you enjoy today's joke - just tickled my funny bone.

Supposed to get rain or snow today; hope it is snow - looks so beautiful on the trees. We have had a lot more snow than usual this year and, because the temperatures have been so low, the snow on the mountains has stayed. Really lovely to look at.

Joke for Today: A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."

The Heat's On!

Furnace repaired, up and running by 6:30 last evening. Stayed in the mid-60's in the house all day - I was pretty lucky that it was a sunny day.

Judging by the picture at the top of today's blog, you would think we have commode problems - you would be wrong. It is pertaining to the joke today.

My back has been out for two days now. What a pain. Dizzy and stooped over; very enticing.

Joke of the Day: A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."

No Heat!!!

So, no heat today. It is very cold outside (in the 30s) and there is something wrong with our furnace. Repairman I spoke with told me to turn it off and he would be here late this afternoon. Makes a "huge" noise when going on. May put it on, once in a while, just to keep from having an asthma attack or freezing my nose off. My back is out also so.............wonderful, fun day today! :0)

Joke for the Day: Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!" Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!"

Canada - My Home Country

Being that I am French Canadian by birth, I thought it was time to say something about my home country - especially with the Winter Olympics going on. We have really been enjoying the Games especially the new event, Men's Ski Cross -- Wow! Figure Skating has been pretty good too - looking forward to the Dance Finals tonight.

There is no joke today but a series of questions and answers: these are real questions sent on the internet re: visiting Canada. The questions are really hilarious but the answers, given by a fellow Canadian, are even funnier. Enjoy!

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Canuck:

Q: I have never seen it warm, in Canada, on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only six thousand km, take lots of water. . .
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)!
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Dizzy Shower

One of the worst places for me is the shower. I get dizzy in there more often than anywhere else. Today was really a load of laughs; poor John had to come in and help me out.


Today is Sunday so, appropriately, today's joke is irreverant. God did create our sense of humor, after all.

Joke for the Day: Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with mice in my church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away. The second Pastor then said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in the basement of the church. I've set traps and even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still won't go away." With a grin on his face, the third Pastor said, "I had the same problem so I baptized all mine and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!!!"

For My Husband

Today's blog is for my husband, John. He is a lover of Harley Davidson motorcycles. He had one several years ago - he loved to ride. Couldn't resist either the above cartoon or the joke - being that I love things medical, I thought the joke was the perfect blend.

Working on reams of paperwork for disability but hoping I will get to go back to work instead.

Have a wonderful Saturday!!

Joke for the Day: A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work? The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, whispering to the mechanic....."Try doing it with the engine running!"

Golf?

I don't golf, I don't watch golf on TV, I have no real interest in golf (except for the movie, "Caddyshack") so..... why the golf photo? Great question - my only answer is that I came across a golf joke that made me laugh out loud-----thus, the golf photo. The joke is a little warped but then so am I.

Off for the annual physical at my doctor's office. Mailing out the taxes - yay! they're done!

Have a great weekend!!! See you tomorrow!

Joke for the Day: A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until, at 8 p.m., the husband finally pulls into the driveway. "What happened?" asked the wife. "You should have been home hours ago!" "Gus had a heart attack at the third hole," replied the husband. "Oh, that's terrible," said the wife. "I know," the husband answered. "All day long it was, hit the ball, drag Gus, hit the ball, drag Gus . . . "

It's Fun Being Crazy

Just love the following cartoon. I think we all feel this way, once in a while. It is great "therapy" to laugh at yourself, although not easy sometimes.

What's driving me crazy today: have to do our taxes before sending them to our accountant. Not my favorite thing but... it must be done. Wish me well! Have a great day!!

Joke for the Day: A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet. The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor. The patient replied in an irritated fashion, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired, "And what is the fellow hanging from the ceiling doing?" "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a light bulb." The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, don't you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?" "What? And work in the dark?"

Faith

I was at church this morning at a Bible Study and so this is later than usual. Faith is a wonderful and mysterious thing. If I did not have faith in our Lord, Jesus Christ I know that my medical circumstances would be almost intolerable. Vertigo is but one of several issues with which I struggle. However, knowing that He is with me, giving me the strength to deal with it all, makes all the difference. He cares about each one of us. He cares about each little detail of our lives.

Joke for the Day: One Sunday morning, the minister saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. "Pastor Evans," the boy asked, "what is this?" "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," the minister explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque. Little Davey softly asked, "Which service? The 9:00 or the 10:30?"

Water, Water everywhere...

Happy Tuesday to all! I find it, sometimes, difficult to remember to drink enough water - just generally good for my health. So, have my cup with me now, right where I can see it all the time. Easier to remember.

Seems like so many people have a flu right now: in our family Krista and Bekah have it and Danny and Roxie are getting over it, Alan had it, Misha has it, and little Ellie has been ill for weeks, even though on antibiotics. Bad flu season, I guess. As long as everyone gets well. If any of you are ill I hope you are restored to good health very soon.

Joke for the Day: A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" The Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."

Crisp Winter Day

Love days like this - bright, clear, crisp, cold. Truly beautiful - the sky is so blue and, from our front porch, we can see for miles and miles.

Very nice Valentine's Day yesterday; hope you had a nice one too. Out to lunch, a little shopping - peaceful, sweet. Home, afterwards, to watch the Olympics. First Gold Medal at home for Canada - very exciting. First Czech Republic medal (and it's a Gold!) in Speed Skating - inspiring!!

Hope you get a chance to watch some of the Olympic coverage - some of the stories are truly amazing.

Joke for the Day: A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman."What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

Happy Valentine's Day!

Spend today, and every day, showing those you love just how very much you love them.

See you tomorrow.

If It Looks Like A Duck.......

Started blog a week ago. Enjoy sharing with you; hope you enjoy reading. Would love your comments - what you like, don't like - anything you want me to blog about.

Bad end to the day yesterday. Always have vertigo but it does ebb and flow; yesterday afternoon and evening not the best. Feeling "normal", for a person with vertigo, this morning - hope it lasts. One of the things that is so frustrating about vertigo is the fact that it is so unpredictable - plans are not a smart move as it can lead to disappointment. Emotions, generally speaking, make vertigo (at least in my case) worse.

Have a great Saturday!!

Joke for the Day: Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"

Time For A Change

Well, enough with the dizzy jokes; on to other medical issues. I love jokes so you will have to bear with me. I'm sure some of them will be familiar.

Looking forward to John's two days off on Sunday and Monday. Nothing of great import going on until then. We plan on going to an Art Exhibit on Sunday morning after church - really looking forward to that. Afterwards, a little Valentine's lunch together.

Don't forget to do something nice for someone you love --- Valentine's Day is Sunday!

Joke for the Day: Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

Little Things Mean A Lot

Worms are not a favorite subject of mine however I found a cute joke which included worms so have to post it today.

All is calm today - John off to work, house quiet, blogging. The quiet and peace may seem a small thing but it is really huge when compared to quiet with vertigo. Those of you who have this issue totally understand. Thank You, God, for peace and quiet.

Dizzy Joke for the Day: The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

Good News is Rare and Wonderful

It's wonderful when we get good news, isn't it? My disability benefit has been extended to mid-March and my employer is trying to find a way to accomodate my "weirdness" - would be fantastic if I could return to work. Hope you all have some good news today too.

Dizzy Joke for the Day: If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a supermancape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20-foot room.

Life is Full of Color

Trying out color today to see how it looks, I know it feels nice. Love all different colors, very few I don't like. Out today on my own; allowed to drive as long as I don't take one of my medications and wait 'til I'm back before taking it. So, have a couple of short messages to do. Enjoy, immensely, getting out of the house. If I didn't get out with John on his days off and a couple of short "to do" trips each week I would go stir crazy.

Please excuse the following joke but I find it funny.

Dizzy Joke for the Day: Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Laughing is Good

Good day today. Out with John, my husband. Nothing special, just nice to get out into the crisp winter air.

If you can laugh, especially at yourself, it feels really good.

Dizzy Joke for Today: I had to stop driving my car for a while.... the tires were getting dizzy.

Here We Go!

Vertigo is really interesting. Dizziness is not the only symptom; lack of focus and clear thought, anxiety, loss of intellect? Not sure, really - but it is never boring. Will try to blog multiple times a week. Would like to hear from all of you, especially if you have vertigo.